T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a… wait, wait, wait… Hang on…The night before Christmas, nothing stirring???
Christmas can be one of THE most stressful times of the year! There are presents to buy, holidays to organise, people to manage, that dreaded Aunt that always causes problems… Not to mention, somehow coming up with all the money to pay for it.
These are the common causes of Christmas stress but there are also deeper things that arise. Loneliness, missing someone who has passed, or even the need for everything to be perfect.
The holiday season can begin to feel overwhelming so here are some helpful tips to make this time much easier.
Manage Family Expectations
Often the holiday can be a challenge with respect to family dynamics.
It may be spending time with people you don’t see often, having to work around different places to be on Christmas day, or knowing there are family members that tend to make things difficult.
We tend to try and keep everyone happy, but sometimes this is simply impossible. The best way is to manage expectations is to be realistic about what you can and can’t do.
Sit down and write a list of the people that are expecting to see you, or where you want to be and when. By having this in front of you, you can start to plan where you will be and what will be the most relaxed way to enjoy your Christmas. Once you have the plan, share it with the people involved. This will stop disappointment and with early enough notice, they may work their plans around you.
If there is a family member that you know will be difficult, choose a time to see them away from the busy time, or have a plan in place.
Financial Stress
Christmas can be so expensive, especially now with the cost of travel, food and basic living expenses going up. Financial stress is huge and can last before and after the Christmas period.
There are a few things we can do to ease the pressure here.
The first one is creating a budget and sticking to it. I can sense some eyes rolling here, but it is so important. Give yourself a present allowance, an amount to spend for each person.
Once you have that set, your mind will start working on gift ideas that fit within the budget. You may want to brainstorm each person, write their name in the middle of a piece of paper and come up with things they are interested in and like. Remember a lot of times the funny or well thought out gifts are the ones we remember the most.
This is also the same with food and travel. When you sit down and plan meals and places, you are less likely to buy too much and panic shop.
The Dreaded High Expectations
Who has felt the need for everything to be perfect? The Christmas tree, the meal, even wanting to look good.
This need can be there for many different reasons, but the common thread seems to be worrying about what others think or wanting people to be happy.
Step back and ask yourself.
Who am I doing this for?
What would really happen if things weren’t exactly how I wanted them to be? Is it worth the stress it causes?
Would those people be happier if you were happier and not stressed?
Exercise – Close your eyes and take a long deep breath – in and out. From here, imagine seeing yourself standing in front of you. Imagine seeing yourself through the eyes of the ones who love you.
Does the YOU in front of you deserve a peaceful, relaxed Christmas?
If any uncomfortable feelings arise, imagine a beautiful Golden Light coming down through the top of your head washing any discomfort until you see a glow.
Loneliness and Grief
Christmas is a time for family, friends and loved ones. But for some, it is a time of sadness, loss, isolation, and loneliness.
Please know that if this is you, it is perfectly okay to feel these feelings. Someone may have passed on 20 years ago, but these times can bring up unhealed feelings. The exercise above may help or even listening to the recording attached. If you are really struggling, please reach out as Hypnotherapy can really help.
When we feel these feelings, our mind tends to want us to isolate, or withdraw, it believes the feelings mean an unsafe environment.
Even though it could feel uncomfortable at first, this is the time to reach out. Go for a walk, reach out to friends, family, work members or even a group such as a church or community group. There will be others feeling the same way.
If this is not you, have a think, is there someone you can reach out to. A simple hello may be small for you, but it may change someone’s life.
If you would like a copy of my Relaxation Exercise please send me a message [email protected] and I will send you a link. Merry Christmas.
